Coast to Coast
What a year. In less than 40 days, we will conclude 2008.
The thought alone made me sad. I am not ready for a new year yet. I am not ready to be another year older. I am not ready for new obstacles as i am still dealing with the current ones. I am not ready for new expectations and even new growths yet.
What about you? Are you thinking the same? Or have you had enough of this year and you cannot wait to move on. Cannot wait for a fresh start, a new season, a new environment, a new circumstance and a new you?
No doubt this year has been a year of changes for me. New occupation, new attitudes, new aspirations, new styles, new language, new hair colour, new tattoo, new identity and hopefully, a new passport even. At times, these changes seemed really slow and overdue, but at times it happened so fast that I cannot even sit down and think, and breathe and digest. This year had its ups and downs personally and non-personally. There is tears and rain.
I know that for some of you this year had been an eventfull one as well. Relationships/ friendships that came and go, things that you have learnt about yourselves, decisions that had made or break you. If there is a time to finally start closing the book on 2008, it will be now. November now. December has too many distractions. By the time you are done, it will be 2009 and you will be thinking, where did 2008 go? Take some time one day, light the candle, shut the blinds and think.
So I have truly outdone myself this time. This year alone is like 3 years high school squashed into one. I have met so many new people. I have travelled to new and old places so many times. I have made plans about my future in so many details. One thing I never did, which i did in past years, is that i never looked back my past. Finally I am able to see forward and not based my life on my previous experiences. My past experiences have hindered me alot and now, this year, for the first time, I felt like a free bird. At 22, i have learned a lot. I am content.
However, content as i may be, i want more of this growth and maximise it. I fear that it will end when the new year come. The time will soon come when they will no longer check my ID at the door, when the question of marriage start coming up, when i have to start saving up for a car and a house. The time will come when i will be old, look old and desperately clench on the remaining ounce of youth in me. I am already supporting myself financially. The fine lines around my eyes can already tell some of my life story to those who see me.
Coast to Coast,
Face to Face,
Heart to Heart.
I am thankful for this year.
May the remaining days of this year be the best days.
So that i can close this year with a big smile and go
"Schat, je verbaast me!".
The thought alone made me sad. I am not ready for a new year yet. I am not ready to be another year older. I am not ready for new obstacles as i am still dealing with the current ones. I am not ready for new expectations and even new growths yet.
What about you? Are you thinking the same? Or have you had enough of this year and you cannot wait to move on. Cannot wait for a fresh start, a new season, a new environment, a new circumstance and a new you?
No doubt this year has been a year of changes for me. New occupation, new attitudes, new aspirations, new styles, new language, new hair colour, new tattoo, new identity and hopefully, a new passport even. At times, these changes seemed really slow and overdue, but at times it happened so fast that I cannot even sit down and think, and breathe and digest. This year had its ups and downs personally and non-personally. There is tears and rain.
I know that for some of you this year had been an eventfull one as well. Relationships/ friendships that came and go, things that you have learnt about yourselves, decisions that had made or break you. If there is a time to finally start closing the book on 2008, it will be now. November now. December has too many distractions. By the time you are done, it will be 2009 and you will be thinking, where did 2008 go? Take some time one day, light the candle, shut the blinds and think.
So I have truly outdone myself this time. This year alone is like 3 years high school squashed into one. I have met so many new people. I have travelled to new and old places so many times. I have made plans about my future in so many details. One thing I never did, which i did in past years, is that i never looked back my past. Finally I am able to see forward and not based my life on my previous experiences. My past experiences have hindered me alot and now, this year, for the first time, I felt like a free bird. At 22, i have learned a lot. I am content.
However, content as i may be, i want more of this growth and maximise it. I fear that it will end when the new year come. The time will soon come when they will no longer check my ID at the door, when the question of marriage start coming up, when i have to start saving up for a car and a house. The time will come when i will be old, look old and desperately clench on the remaining ounce of youth in me. I am already supporting myself financially. The fine lines around my eyes can already tell some of my life story to those who see me.
Coast to Coast,
Face to Face,
Heart to Heart.
I am thankful for this year.
May the remaining days of this year be the best days.
So that i can close this year with a big smile and go
"Schat, je verbaast me!".
posted by spring-file007 at 2:39 AM
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