The Road to Macho

I have a problem appearing macho or masculine due to my insecurities.
For a while now, i have been going for the ethereal impossible pretty boy look.
I have so many products to help me on that from head to toes!
I have felt that looking pretty is the key to get anyone's heart,
Whether they are young, old, pretty, ugly, male, female, dog or just anyone...
If I don't feel liked, i blamed it on the way i looked. Thus the cycle starts again.
I start questioning if only my eye lashes were longer, will it be better or
if my skin is more luminous, will it be more attracting.

However, why should it concern me. What happened to inner beauty?
Instead of trying to grow that hair to make me look a wee bit cuter,
Shouldn't I be more concerned about ways to being a nicer person?
On how to sympathise with others and on how to improve my self esteem, not image?

How can i go from 'My issues are like tissues, wiping my self believes away.'
To a macho, confident, slightly arrogant and a little rude man?
I need to grow up in that sense. I need to change me.
No more effeminate, gentle, soft, indecisive me.
No more talking in himbo talk. No more air. No more two siddes earrings.
No more uncontrolled mannerism. No more speeches about my emotions and feelings.
No more getting in touch with the 'woman in me'. No more high pitched prissy voice.
No more mascara. No more ethereal androgynous shit. No more using the word 'bitch'.
No more facebooking with bimbo talk. No more ultra vain pictures.
No more trying to be hot or beautiful cos i already am.
No more superficial shit. No more lies. No more....

From today onwards, I will be mainstream.
I will talk with a low voice. I will not talk before i think.
I will be at my straight state. Never cross my legs sitting down.
Be assertive. Be confident. Be quiet. Be sure. Be a man.

I think i know what side of me that i want to be dominant now.
I think i have chosen.